He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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