I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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