She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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