it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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