real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
