i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
