There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
