and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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