We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
