I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
