do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
