i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
how does that bad decision feel?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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