We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
