No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
