I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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