O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
