There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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