Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
