theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
it was like eating out sand paper
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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