Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
