i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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