I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
