help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
