pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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