Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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