What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
