Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
