why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
