Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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