He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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