it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
