Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
