College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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