no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
