Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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