You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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