Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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