so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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