She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
