He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
