so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
