You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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