This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
