Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
