I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
