He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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