she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
