and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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