Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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