yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
