this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
