Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
