it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
