we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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