i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
