Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
