hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
