physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
